After a longer period of silence, I’m sharing again today.
It feels a bit like resurfacing after a long winter sleep.
Slowly. Not quite ready to put everything into words.
The snowy winter, the time after Umrah, the atmosphere of Ramadan, along with the intense solar activity, planetary shifts, and subtle energetic changes I am sensing so strongly since months, has moved a lot within me – but not in a loud or visible way. Inside. Quietly. Deeply. Almost as if something is rearranging itself without me being able to fully grasp it for now.
A lot is happening in m inner world, and at the same time, none of it really wants to come out yet.
Over the past months and weeks, I’ve often had the sense of standing between two worlds.
One part of me moves through daily life as usual: organizing, deciding, speaking, responding.
And another part has become much quieter. More observant. More discerning.
It’s less a feeling of being torn and more a sense of transitioning and transforming.
As if certain ways of thinking, engaging, and perceiving are gently falling away, while something new is not yet fully formed.
Inside this shift, not everything feels aligned anymore. Some conversations, some dynamics, some expectations, some duties suddenly feel empty. Or simply no longer relevant.
Like being in an in-between-state that is slowly opening into something new.
What I’m noticing more and more clearly is how strongly my attention shapes my experience:
What I choose to engage with, What I continue to think about internally, Which stories I give my energy to greatly influence how my everyday life unfolds, what feelings prevail within me, and how the entire atmosphere around me feels.
And I realize that I don’t have to engage with or respond to everything. That I don’t have to make every emotion mine, or follow every movement happening around me.
I understand this as a new kind of responsibility. Being more sensitive and more decisive, feeling quickly if something fits, or not.
This changes how I move through my days: Maybe slower. More consciously. With more space in between.
What nourishes me right now is surprisingly simple:
Nature.
Breathing deeply.
Raking in the garden.
And als asking myself again and again:
Is this really mine?
Where is my energy flowing right now?
Not as a form of control, more as a gentle, conscious directing:
Pausing briefly before I respond.
Not answering immediately.
Not judging right away.
And taking less for more:
Less noise.
Less urge to understand or explain everything.
Less need to be validated from the outside.
Like in a spring garden that just starts to bloom, I learn to allow things to ripen. To accept the unfinished. Raw. Until they take shape on their own, and unfold from the inside out. inchaallah.
Happy spring to all of you!
